Death Between Friends
by Rehanna
Summary: Dead Poets' Society - Angsty little ficlet about Todd between when he found out about Neil's death and finding out about Cameron's betrayal. WARNING: Kinda Slashy.


  
**Title**: Death Between Friends   
**Rating**: PG   
**Timeline**: Immedately after Neil's death.   
**Disclaimer**: I don't own them. I don't make any claims to. I didn't write the book, I didn't write the movie, I didn't act in the movie, I didn't work on it in any way. I just watch it. And enjoy it. I'm not going to make any money on this story -- it probably won't even be read. It was written for my enjoyment and to shut my muses up who decided this was a perfect way for me to spend my time. I'm just going to put Todd through a bit of angst (hey! the real author did it!) then give him back. I promise. 

**WARNING**: This is **slashy. Two guys. In a relationship.** They're more than friends. If you don't like it, don't read it. If you're just going to flame me, don't bother. 

**Author Note**: I don't know where this came from. I guess watching Dead Poet Society twice in 12 hours isn't a good idea. Neil and Todd had to be slashed. There was no way around it. It's not any good, but here it is.. 

  
"It's so beautiful," Todd Anderson said, as he looked out at the snowcovered grounds. 'Just like he is,' he thought to himself.   
'Like he was," came the correction.   
It took another second to sink in: Neil was dead.   
The next thing Todd knew, he was on his hands and knees in the snow, the remains of supper from the previous night staining the clean whiteness before him.   
He was gibbering. Neil couldn't have killed himself. Wouldn't have. Not when Todd needed him so badly. It was Mr. Perry! It had to be. Mr. Perry killed his son. He tried to convince the forms who tried to console him. His friends, at least, he assumed they were, right now it could have been anyone around him. But if they were his friends, they'd believe him. Know he was right. Neil wasn't happy with his life, but he and Todd were happy enough.. He wouldn't have killed himself and they knew it.   
All his efforts were rewarded with were a mouthful of snow -- someone was trying to help him get rid of the aftertaste of the acid. They needn't have bothered. It was the last thing he noticed at this point.   
He tried to convince the people around him again, but they wouldn't listen.   
Todd tried to get to his feet, but it was difficult with people holding him back and the tears that clouded his vision.   
Somehow, Todd managed to stagger away from the arms. He tried to run, but he couldn't see or think well enough to stand, then run and make it down the hill. He got partway up and away before slipping in the snow. He almost fell, but managed to catch himself. Then he did make it to his feet.   
He ran down the hill, yelling the only thing that came to his mind through the sobs, "Neil!"   
Vaguely, Todd gathered that the people who had tried to hold him back weren't following. He didn't care. He wanted to be away from them, from that hellish building they called a school, from everything.   
His brain refused to function past thoughts of his roommate -- former roommate: the first day at school, when they'd met, the first Dead Poets' meeting he'd been drug to, his birthday, when Neil had made him smile over his flying desk set.   
After a few minutes, Todd tripped, fell in the snow, and stayed there. A part of him noticed he was near the Dead Poets' cave, but most of him was still intent on the memories.   
Now came thoughts of nights in their room that had been, and always would be, kept secret. Memories that caused too much pain to think about at this point. Todd wondered, detached, how he could ever enter their room again, as empty as it would feel now.   
Todd dissolved into a sobbing mess, again. The snow was painful against his hands, the cold air stung the wet tracks down his cheeks, his clothes were growing cold, damp and steadily more uncomfortable as the snow beneath him melted, but he didn't consciously notice.   
He lay there for a long time, long after the tears stopped coming and dried. He had no idea how much time had passed; he didn't care. Todd had decided to stay in the middle of the woods for the rest of his life. Hopefully that wouldn't be much longer. Then he and Neil both would be full-fledged members of the society.   
Todd probably would have stayed there, if Knox hadn't finally come looking for him. He let himself be conviced to go back to the school, someone less pleasant might come looking for him if he didn't. 


End file.
